Letters to the Past - 1

I hope you are happier,

Than you were when I knew you,

I hope that she was enough for you this time around,

And that the breaking was worth loving her, after all.

I hope that your passion for theater fills you,

And that you are intimate with yourself,

Even if my greatest memory of you,

Will always be your fear of your friends,

Knowing that you are a romantic.

I hope you know how deeply I am sorry,

And that I have learned what grief can do to a person.

I hope that you feel how I pray for your heart,

And that I wish we would have never tried for more,

So that I could still cheer for you in a crowd of fans.

I hope that if you ever read this,

It is met with cautious understanding,

I live in your debt,

Our breaking was my hardest lesson,

That it could never have been you.

Not because you are not worthy,

But because you were never strong enough,

To surpass my pain and guide me out,

You were not ready to walk through the fire we all must,

You could never contain the vastness of what love is to me.

I hope that you stepped into the lava without me,

Raw and wild in her spirit.

The ebbs and flows of feminine divine,

Are beautiful when they breach the walls of a broken man.

I hope you are not burning still,

That your pale skin has had a break from the heat,

That you meditate on the mountains,

Because you are supposed to be the sky,

Encompassing all things.

And if you have not yet taken such a step,

Because this life is easier to hold onto,

I hope that someday you are brave enough to see,

How very much you meant to me,

And how the nature of this place,

Is a promise that we will met once more.

We could have made it,

As friends if there was more time,

And I'm sorry that it took me so long to stop calling after,

I'm sorry that I was too much for you,,

I'm sorry that you ran away after all,

I'm sorry that your sky could not contain my range,

I'm sorry that I could not contain my rage,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

The blessing I offer you now,

Is freedom from my hate,

It left me long ago,

When I found a bigger sky,

Blue and wild and free,

There's been pain here too,

But through fire,

There is harmony.

I hope you spread your wings,

I hope you step into the flames,

I hope you realize that it's all a mirror,

Otherwise, they'll find you,

Again and again.